Trying to Fit In May Cause Self-Disconnection

Sunday April 8th was the beginning of the Power of Kindness Class created by Andy Smallman which is online for anyone who wants to take part.  The first assignment/module is The Practice of Kindness which you are to read the first chapter of the book and complete one of the choices in the assignment.  One is about the ‘transparent self’, meaning to do something kind for another without their knowledge or a problem within yourself that you may not realize is really a problem.  That does not mean that there is something wrong or you have to change yourself.  Example:  Being honest with someone who you might otherwise not say anything.

Everyone will interpret this first assignment in their own way, and there is no right or wrong.  (If you want to join, you can go to for more information).

So, after reading what the first assignment entailed, I realized something about myself that I partly was aware but never admitted (at least not to anyone outside myself).

I work in a restaurant and the majority of the staff are men.  I have worked there for a few years and more often than I like, my mood changes from sunshine to darkness once I walk through those doors.  If you have never worked in a restaurant environment, here is a brief picture of what it is like:  Mentality is disrespectful, the men are the only ones that know how to do anything and the language most of the time is rude.  Now I just would like to say that I am not perfect, and I am not intending to offend anyone.  There are thoughts that go through my head ( talking to myself), wondering if I should say anything.  Then there is the other side letting me know that you can not change people.

To try to ignore the uncomfortable feeling, I found myself acting a different role.  I guess you could say I was conforming so I they would like me and stop being disrespectful and rude.  That did not help and I felt worse and that little voice was saying: “why do you think you have to be someone else?”  So, I made up my mind that day to stay who I am and I don’t have to change for anyone.

When I was playing that role, I lost me and it took a little while to figure it out.  I also asked myself: “why was I doing that?” “who is this person?”  I was not liking the person I was becoming and once I snapped back into me again, the darkness was lifted( at least for me).

So now when I go to work, I sing, I block out any negativity in my space and make my best effort to pump up the staff if they are miserable or depressed.

I like happy faces!  Life is too short to stress yourself and worry about the small stuff.  Live every moment like you had a precious gem and treasure the experiences.

Peace and love,



4 thoughts on “Trying to Fit In May Cause Self-Disconnection

Peace, love, bliss kind reader

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